For many reasons, I read the blog of my Daughter's father's wife. I refuse to comment on her blog so, yes, I use a proxy to read it. Anyway, I read that she took my Daughter on a retreat, of sorts. This is something my Daughter did not share with me. I can only guess why she didn't tell me about the retreat; however, I cannot ask her about it. Why? This would reveal that I read the wife's blog.
This is very difficult for me. Not only has my ex allowed his wife to cut me out of my Daughter's life, but (I believe) my Daughter is buying into the "Don't tell the unfit mother what you are doing". (the unfit is placed there not because that is what the court decided, but what the wife has decided) This is very painful for me.
The wife has filled my Daughter's head with lies - that I abandoned her to be with a man; that my life was more important than Daughter. This is so untrue; and, those involved (and the court system) do not want to hear the truth. There is only so much I can explain to Daughter. Once she is of age, it will be so much easier.
The pain in my heart is so tremendous right now...and I have no one to share it with. This will sit in my head - in the pit of my stomach - with all the other pain I cannot share. Aloneness is not all it is cracked up to be.
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